When we say that someone has an ego we are usually referring to someone who is, in a sense, a bit of a show off, someone who, in our eyes, appears to be 'full of themselves'. We say they have a 'big ego'. But the ego manifests in many different ways. So how do we recognise it in ourselves? Being as the ego is part of our own defence system, built up as a coping mechanism, it is therefore easier to see it operating in others than it is in ourselves. So here are some thoughts on the ego: the ego needs to be right, it takes everything personally, it thinks that everything that happens is in relation to it. It can't let go of stuff, it bears grudges, it shores up its defences by making other people in the wrong and so it blames, it feels entitled, it feels deserving. The ego isolates. It is vengeful, superior and subjective. The ego promotes and the ego defends. The ego fears. The ego tries to justify itself, to prove itself to itself. So what are you trying to prove to yourself? That you are strong and in control? That you are easygoing and peaceful? That you are good and virtuous? That you are loveable? That you are valuable? That you have your own identity and significance? That you are competent and useful? That you are safe and secure? That you are happy and fulfilled?
Think about it. Because that's where you start looking.
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